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Under PressureSweat it out. Talk it out.

I'm worried about someone

He's not himself

Your partner, son, dad, brother or mate. You've noticed something's off. You don't need the perfect words. Asking is often what matters most.

If he's in immediate danger, call 999 now.

If he's talking about ending his life, don't leave him on his own if it's safe for you. Samaritans: 116 123 · Text SHOUT to 85258 · NHS 111 option 2 · All crisis support

Signs to look out for

What pressure can look like

Men don't always say it. It often shows up in what they do instead.

  • Going quiet, pulling away from mates and family, or dodging plans
  • Short fuse: snapping, irritable, angry over small stuff
  • Drinking more, gambling, or leaning on other ways to switch off
  • Sleeping badly, or sleeping all the time
  • Stopping the things he used to love, like football, the gym or going out
  • Working all hours, or not being able to face work at all
  • Saying things like "what's the point" or "everyone would be better off without me"
  • Giving things away or tying up loose ends

Starting the chat

Ask. Then listen.

You don't have to fix it. You just have to open the door.

Pick your moment

Side by side often works better than face to face. On a walk, in the car, at the gym, or over a brew.

Ask twice

"You alright?" gets "yeah, fine". Try again: "No, really, how are you doing?" It shows you mean it.

Use your own words

"You've seemed a bit quiet lately. I'm here if you want to talk." Simple works.

Listen more than you talk

Don't rush to advice or compare. Let the silences sit. Nod. "That sounds rough."

Ask straight about suicide

If you're worried, ask directly: "Are you thinking about suicide?" Asking won't put the idea in his head. It can be a relief.

Keep showing up

One chat won't fix everything. Text him. Check in next week. Invite him along anyway.

Point him our way

Share Under Pressure

Our free 12-week group is for any man feeling the pressure. He can register his interest himself. It takes two minutes and there's no commitment.

Send him the link: underpressurepodcic.org/join. Or sit with him while he fills it in. We'll give him a call first to check it's the right fit and that he's safe.

Supporting someone is heavy too. Look after yourself, and talk to someone about how you're feeling.

Show him how it works Email us for advice

We're not a crisis service. Email isn't monitored around the clock.

Crisis numbers to keep handy